With special guests:
- Brian Ludmer
- Dr. Tamara Brockhausen and
- Judge Elizio Perez.
Finally the world has witnessed the first Government with the courage and insight to recognize and legislate for the criminalization of Parental Alienation. Brazil is the first country in the world to actually enshrine the cursed criminal behavior of Parental Alienation into its criminal code of justice. By so doing, Brazil is now leading the way into facing up to the world’s human rights responsibilities, which obliges every country to protect the human rights of it’s nations’ children, by ensuring all their children enjoy a continuing relationship with both of their responsible parents.
First up we speak with Brian Ludmer, Lawyer and Expert on Parental Alienation in Toronto Canada. Brian is a highly credentialed lawyer with expertise in corporate /commercial and securities law and Family Law, most particularly with Parental Alienation.
The advantages of having exposure to both fields is that his commercial background brings a perspective to what Family Law could be or should be when Family Law is often dysfunctional. The understanding promotes negotiations between parents. The difference is that in business the benefits are often shared which may not be the case in Family Law. In Family Law it is often a zero sum with winner takes all instead of the optimal situation of two healthy homes.
Brian has written many papers on PA. He defines PA as a pattern of behaviour or a strategy by an aligned parent leading to a rejection in whole or in part of the other parent. You look at the results to determine if it is mild, moderate or severe. It is sometimes called “Parental Alienation Syndrome.”
We then speak with Tamara Brockhausen Psychologist and writer on Parental Alienation from Sao Paolo, Brazil, who is the wife of Judge Elizio Perez, the Brazilian Judge who wrote the world’s first Law criminalising Parental Alienation from Sao Paolo, Brazil. Tamara kindly volunteered to translates the interview with Judge Perez.
Judge Perez commented that although parental alienation occurs in Brazil as it does in other countries the justice system ignored it until the legislation that he introduced.
The law has been in place in Brazil since August 2010. There is still some resistance in Brazil to even the existence of PA among professionals such as therapists so the Judge sees this as a good thing that the law is in place.
The broader application of the law is that parents who are worried that there may be PA occurring can read the law for themselves and then ask questions. They are worried about the penalties to which they may be exposing themselves.
A good thing about the new law is that PA is set out and defined so Judges can do something without having to wait for a report from Psychologists or other professional experts.
Judge Perez said that the list of symptoms set out in the law came from the professional advisers such as therapists and affected parents. When proved in Court the Judge can impose a fine or one of the other penalties.
The penalties available include uncapped fines. The Judge determines the amount of the fine after taking everything into account including the severity of the alienation and the means of the parents. Fines have ranged from $100 to $1000 a day while the alienation continues. Other remedies include increasing the time with a parent or making it joint. If joint is not possible the Judge can reverse the residence order.
Brian Ludmer said the behaviour is now well understood. The first signs show in the strategies of the aligned parent against the targeted parent. These are set out in a list designed by Psychologist Amy J. Baker who has written extensively on the topic. Ms Baker has listed 17 of these strategies which include behaviour such as bad mouthing the other parent, limiting contact, confiding in the child and an obvious one of changing the child’s first or second name.
This pattern of behaviour in a parent leads to a behavioural manifestation in the child. There are lots of studies such as those done by Dr Richard Gardner who first coined the term Parental Alienation. Dr Gardner classified 8 behaviours of alienated children. These included unrelenting criticism of one parent for frivolous reasons, the absence of guilt in the child despite the harm being caused to a parent and the abandonment of the extended family of the targeted parent for no reason at all.
These symptoms are evidenced all around the world and it is strange that the alienating parent with no training or tips or reading can follow this path. For the responding parent there is now a body of literature on treatment but this is not intuitive and there is still no guaranteed cure.
Brian Ludmer referred to “attachment theory” where a child bonds with a caring parent between the ages of 3-7. If bonded well this is hard to break up but PA can do this. The targeted parent is portrayed as unsafe, uncaring and unavailable.
When asked what are the tools to fight this Brian Ludmer pointed to three solutions: Legal, therapeutic and practical.
Starting with the practical, partly based on his own experience Brian advised parents not to challenge the child. The targeted parent should try to get as much time with and exposure to the alienated child as possible. Be caring, empathetic and it is important to recognise that the child is a victim just as you are. Over time the child will realise there is a conflict between what the child has been told about the targeted parent and the reality. The child will hopefully realise that the targeted parent is in fact “useful” and will want that parent to stay around.
Turning to the therapeutic the benefit is that a child may be more likely to listen to a third party expert than the parent being targeted. Most parents are not prepared for the onslaught of full blown PA and they need expert, experienced help. However traditional therapy will not work. Specialised training is required and treating protocols are only now being developed.
The children will not simply grow out of it. PA must be tackled immediately or it will become permanent. There is no social science available to show the likelihood of spontaneous reconciliation. There are only some anecdotal histories of for example a new boyfriend, or a husband who will push the alienated child into reconciliation. And if an alienated child does come back the child is going to find it painful, they are damaged and resentful at having lost a childhood with the targeted parent.
In the legal response the key is speed which is essential. A parent should try to get backing with a court order that the parent is to spend time with the child and an order for therapy. The time spent with a parent cannot be left up to the supposed wishes of a child. Courts will take action if the parent is active and moves quickly. The longer it goes on both the courts and the therapists may become timid in their response.
There are four aspects of parenting that should never be forgotten:
* incentives * consequences * guidance * boundaries
Brian Ludmer spoke about the importance of body language of the parents and how there can be a conflict between what is said by an alienating parent and their actions.
There is an increasing understanding of PA in Canada. Canada is in some respects at the leading edge of PA research with conferences, cases and general understanding. However even with the increase in the body of knowledge over the last 5-10 years we are still probably a generation away from judges, therapists and social scientists coming to grips with the problem.
In Ontario Canada there have been some insightful legal decisions where the Courts have focused on the long term gains rather than the short term pains.
Brian Ludmer spoke of his involvement in drafting Canadian Bill C-422 which promotes a presumption of equal shared parenting. Court battles are demonstrably bad for children yet 85% of matters should be equal shared parenting. We should focus the court’s and expert’s attention on the other 15% that need assistance rather than the 85% where the outcome should be clear.
Brian Ludmer spoke finally about the Canadian Symposium on Parental Alienation which holds well respected conferences annually which Brian has addressed. There is a need to change and broaden the name to recognise the world wide nature of the problem.
When asked about future developments with the law Judge Perez said it was intended to develop mediation which is presently not common in Brazil.
There was some discussion about a Conference in Spain in March which Judge Perez will be addressing. The Judge will be speaking about the development of the law in Brazil and doing what he can to help in introducing a similar law in Spain.
When the law was first introduced in Brazil there were some criticisms from Psychiatrists, Psychologists and other professionals who while recognising the problem did not like the term Parental Alienation. These criticisms were made to the Senate but after taking them into account the Senate proceed with implementing the law.
There has been a general effect in Brazil, not just in the Courts. It has improved the understanding of PA and professionals are talking more about the condition. Generally there has been a good acceptance of the new law in the community
Unfortunately due to unavoidable technical difficulties, we are not able to provide the recorded interviews at this stage.
Editor