With special guest:
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Suzanne Venker
…in conversation with Bill Kable
Do you know any Alpha Females? We know them when we see them but it may be difficult to work out how to relate to them because of some of their defining characteristics. Equally the alpha females may need some guidance to find out what is missing in their lives even if the culture says they have everything. And our special guest today, Suzanne Venker has answered the call with her new book The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage: HOW LOVE WORKS.
Suzanne argues that the culture in which we live is designed to make marriages fail. Women are encouraged to become “maximisers” rather than happy and fulfilled. Many women today, both those looking after their families in the home and those in the workforce, will ignore the wisdom of their grandparents in trying to find out how to make a successful marriage.
The first step may be to get an understanding of the differences between men and women. These differences are real and anyone who has spent time with children will realise that. As the children grow up men will usually have simpler needs with the top three being respect, companionship and sex. Women on the other hand can become more demanding with a drive to have everything perfect.
Suzanne Venker believes that women have the biggest role in keeping a marriage together or splitting as evidenced by the higher proportion of divorces initiated by women. Suzanne implores wives and all females to “Learn the Dance” so that conflict can be avoided and real happiness, rather than a temporary state of euphoria, can be achieved.
When we look at what Suzanne has accomplished in her professional life it is easy to see that she has all the alpha qualities that she needs to succeed in her work. But Suzanne recognised that these are not the same qualities that are needed to succeed in marriage. Her view which may be seen as controversial in some quarters is that women should learn to serve their partners in the way that good men have always done for their partners. If that looks like weakness it is only because it is easy to confuse weakness with admitting vulnerability.
The Alpha Female should learn that it is alright to sometimes step back and go along with what your partner says even if you have what seems to you to be a better idea. You can avoid interrupting even if there is a risk that you might forget what is such an important point. In fact generally Suzanne recommends that women speak less, along the lines of what Shakespeare said around about 1600 CE namely “her voice was ever soft and low, an excellent thing in woman.”
Suzanne is a charming and knowledgeable modern successful woman who has lots of tips and advice for other successful women - and some great insights for the men in their lives. Maybe Leonard Cohen was thinking of her when he wrote the song “Suzanne”.
Suzanne Venker
Suzanne Venker is an author and cultural critic who writes about relationships, marriage and work-family conflict. A nationally recognized expert on America’s gender war, she’s a Fox News contributor as well as a columnist at PJ Media and at the Washington Examiner.
Suzanne’s writing has appeared in many publications including Time USA Today, Parents, the New York Post and the St. Louis Post-Dispatch;and her work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, The Atlantic, The Economist, The Huffington Post and London’s Daily Mail. Her TV credits include STOSSEL, The View, ABC, CNN, C-Span’s Book TV and more. She has appeared on hundreds of radio shows throughout the country and her work has been featured on “The Dr Laura Program,” “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” and “The Rush Limbaugh Show.”
Suzanne was born in St. Louis Missouri and graduated from Boston University in 1986. After ten years on the East Coast Suzanne returned to the Midwest where she now lives with her husband of 18 years and their two teenagers.
Song selection by our guest: Green Eyes by Coldplay
Note: This program is an encore presentation of the one aired on 6 April 2017.