Being Dads

With special guest:

• David Willans

There are changes happening in Western societies that are hard to ignore. Our Dads are getting more involved in one-on-one relationships with their children and if that means reducing the time put into the provider role then that is the price for the modern family.

Our guest today David Willans speaks to us from London and he tells us what led to a decision he made in 2014 regarding a change in his family arrangements. David cannot now even remember what the issue was with his son but he clearly remembers yelling at his then 5 year old. We all know the feeling when you are under pressure and a child seems oblivious. It can be a bit like a kettle reaching boiling point.

On this day two years ago David saw that his young son was being attacked by an angry man that he didn’t recognise as himself. Rather than being the great Dad he had always aspired to be he had become a cross Dad and his 5 year old child did not know how to respond.

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The Fathering Project

With special guest:

• John Bond

Our guest today is the son of a very famous father, Alan Bond who is forever linked with Australia winning the America’s Cup in 1983. John Bond was there for this hugely significant event in the USA, one which lifted the whole country. Where to after that?

John Bond returned to Australia and got his motivation when he heard an address by Professor Bruce Robinson which inspired him to support the most powerful force for reducing the chances of our kids falling victim to drugs, suicide and crime. Having an effective father or even a father figure leads to reduced incidence of crime, alcohol and drug abuse; it enhances mental health and self-esteem, leads to improved school engagement and performance, social competence and improved health behaviours generally. Professor Robinson, who has previously been a guest on Dads on the Air provided the research which is compelling.

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SHTUM

With special guest:

• Jem Lester

In this program we cross to London to discuss with author Jem Lester his new novel SHTUM. For anyone who has missed the British television shows and is not sure what “shtum” means Jem tells us that it means “silent or uncommunicative”. That is what a loving father may face when he has a child with profound autism.

The book SHTUM won the 2013 PFD/City University Prize for Fiction but in writing the book Jem tells us he draws on his own experiences having raised a boy now nearly 16 who is profoundly autistic.

This is one of those books you do not want to put down. One of the characters refers to the power of words and yet the most eloquent communication between a father and a son is a non-verbal moment where the connection is “hilarious, fleeting and precious.”

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Didge Group Connection to Culture

With special guest:

• Stuart McMinn

Our National Close the Gap Day program

Stuart McMinn is working in a program that draws on tens of thousands of years of culture to benefit our youth, in particular our young Indigenous men.

Following on from the vision of local Indigenous man, Uncle Bob Williams from the Mingaletta Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islanders Corporation, Interrelate Central Coast supported the establishment of the Young Boys Didgeridoo and Cultural Group, ‘Didge’, in mid-2011. This new group offered cultural and other supports which had an immediate and significant impact.

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Leading Women for Shared Parenting

With special guest:

• Molly Olson

Why would leading women want to join a group that is striving to achieve the sharing of time that children spend with both parents after separation or divorce? If the approach of the Courts and the legislature has always been that the mothers are essential, fathers not so, why would these women work tirelessly to make changes?

Molly Olson is one of the fair-minded women found around the world who can see the benefits to the children as well as to the parents if the allocated time is shared. After listening to Molly it becomes a no-brainer that in her words the system has to change and it will change.

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Is There Anything Good About Men?

With special guest:

• Prof Roy F. Baumeister

Something we have always wanted to know but never been game to ask.

This book’s title Is There Anything Good About Men? How Cultures Flourish by Exploiting Men leads on to a whole range of surprises. We often accept without questioning that women are better networkers than men and that women are better at multi-tasking but is this supported in the research? At a practical level will women succeed in the current push for much more representation on the Boards of major companies?

Professor Roy Baumeister has examined human behaviour as our culture developed. This culture brings humans enormous advantages not available to other primates. You just have to think of us being able to shop at supermarkets, sleep in a warm bed every night and being able to find out on our computers everything ever learned in human history.

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BuildingBoys.net

With special guest:

• Jennifer Fink

Are our boys failing school or is school failing them?

This is a question for everyone because while kids haven’t changed much over the last 100 years there has been a fundamental change in the performance of boys and girls in their education.

In the USA, Australia and 70 other developed countries according to UN figures, boys now lag behind girls on every single academic measure, they get into trouble and they drop out of school more frequently than girls. There are fewer boys at University and there are far more lost 20-something boys than 20-something girls. For the first time in the history of the United States boys are less educated than their dads. So what is going wrong and what can we do about it?

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Protecting Emilie

With special guest:

• Lisa Heim

A check in the index of topics will reveal that we have explored parental alienation from different angles by talking to academics, psychologists and researchers. Today we cross to Florida in the USA to hear a very real account of what this type of psychological child abuse looks like to those who are personally caught up in it.

Lisa Heim is the author of Protecting Emilie and in this book she tells the story of what happens to people catapulted into this nightmare world of parental alienation, something that could happen to you, your neighbour or parents on the other side of the world. Lisa gives an account of her relationship with her husband, his daughter Emilie, in the title of the book, and her own daughter, as it was affected by the conflict instigated by Emilie’s mother.

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Stop Male Suicide

With special guest:

• Glen Poole

Every day in Australia five men die from suicide. While every single suicide is a tragedy, men account for 75% of all suicides in this country. How is it that while male suicide is increasing the numbers for women are improving? We need to investigate and see if this success can be replicated for men. Even a small improvement in the numbers has an enormous effect on the emotional cost and the financial cost to all of us.

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Fathering Adventures

With special guest:

• Darren Lewis

He doesn’t claim to have been the beginning of all fathering adventures but in July 2008 Darren Lewis started an organisation by that name which has made many fathers and their children come alive through adventure based activities. Darren quotes Howard Thurman in recognising that the world needs people who have come alive.

We live in a world where fathers commonly spend just 8 minutes a day with each of their children, sometimes it is as little as 57 seconds on a week day. Darren provides an opportunity for Dads to spend dedicated time with their children in a fun environment.

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Separate Well or Separation Hell

With special guest:

• Peter Nowosielski

If we are planning on buying a house, a car or even a pair of shoes most of us will engage in some research before embarking down that road. Therefore it is passingly strange that when we arrive at a place where decisions are going to have a major impact on our lives and those we love the most our research is often limited to asking a few friends what they think. If professional advice is sought it is usually from the lawyers who in our adversarial system have most to gain from promoting conflict so that it finishes up in court.

Our guest today is a founder of Separate Well consultancy services providing expert independent advice on how to do the best for your family if separation from your partner is the only option. And in his book Separate Well or Separation Hell Peter draws on over ten years’ experience to dispel myths associated with separation and divorce. Peter provides practical advice in down to earth language. You will not find any lawyers’ jargon here.

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Children in Crisis

With special guest:

• Dr David Curl

Our distinguished guest in today’s program is very familiar with threatened species in the animal kingdom, having worked with luminaries such as the late Gerald Durrell OBE and Sir David Attenborough. He is now directing his considerable energy and ability to helping our own species in a crisis that is of our own making.

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Out on a Limb: A Single Father’s Guide to his Family’s Lore of the Jungle

With special guest:

• Simon Turner

Simon Turner’s book Out on a Limb is refreshingly plain speaking. To read the book is like sitting down with a mate who has some important, perhaps life-changing, information to share. Using language we can all relate to, Simon takes us through the jungle that confronts a father at the gates of a Family Law dispute with the mother of their children.

Simon discusses what he describes as the three golden rules that were passed on to him informally by a Family Court Judge in an Art Gallery rather than a court room. Based on these golden rules Simon gives some invaluable ideas about how a dad can give himself the best chance of continuing to parent his child after a separation or divorce.

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A Men’s Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service (AMENS)

With special guest:

• Mario Licha

There is a lot in the news these days on the topic of domestic violence but precious little information beyond the screaming headlines about the latest tragedy. Our guest today provides a rare look at the other side of the prosecutions, telling us about the person being prosecuted. He brings us the benefit of his experience after 10 years in the court room as a practising Barrister and a previous career as a Registered and Psychiatric Nurse.

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How much father? How have dads evolved since the 1930s?

With special guest:

• Dr Peter West

How have dads evolved since the 1930s? In the 1990s, Dr Peter West interviewed a wide variety of men who grew up in the decades between the Depression and the final decade on the 20^th Century. The result of those interviews was the book Fathers, Sons and Lovers: Men Talk About Their Lives from the 1930s to Today. From footballers to policemen, from railway workers to farmers, he provided a rare glimpse into the lived realities or everyday Australian dads.

In this program, Glen Poole of Helping Men interviews Peter about the changing nature of fatherhood since the 1930s, asks how things have changed for dads since he wrote his book nearly 20 years ago and explores what fatherhood holds for the next generation of dads.

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Flesh Wounds

With special guest:

• Richard Glover

Our guest today is famous.

Richard Glover is the host of the top rating Drive show on 702 ABC Sydney, and the weekly podcast of Thank God It’s Friday. He is the author of twelve books including the bestseller In Bed with Jocasta. His new book Flesh Wounds is in a similar humorous vein but the big difference this time is that it is the real story of his unusual, to say the least, upbringing.

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The Cost of Suicide

With special guest:

• Carolyn Kelso

The construction industry has nearly one million workers in Australia and 98% of these workers are male. But interestingly our guest today to talk about that industry is female. Carolyn Kelso has the dual role of Case Manager and Field Officer for MATES in Construction (MIC) and she has had an interest in suicide prevention since her first introduction to construction through family and friends.

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The Making of Men

With special guest:

• Dr Arne Rubinstein

“If we don’t initiate our boys they will burn down the village to feel the heat.” This is an African proverb quoted by our guest today Dr Arne Rubinstein that could describe the situation for young men today in Australia and other societies far from Africa.

The Making of Men is a book that Dr Arne Rubinstein has written after seeing first-hand in his medical practice the disasters that can befall boys who are not initiated into life as a man in the community. Arne recognises the qualities valued in young boys when they are naturally loving, energetic, funny, creative and sensitive. What happens then, when so many kids get into trouble as teenagers?

In this program we talk about one of the most important ways in which the community or village can play a role in bringing the boy through to being a valuable man in the community.

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Ugly: A beaut story about one very ugly kid

With special guest:

• Robert Hoge

Robert Hoge has a daughter Imogen who sums it up best. She said about Robert’s book Ugly “It’s important to tell your story especially when you’re different.”

As one of the many roles that our guest today has filled with distinction he is an advocate for those with a disability and today we hear what it is like to grow up in a special club.

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WhiteRibbon.org

With special guest:

• Erin Pizzey

There is a constant barrage at this time of year in the press and on TV denouncing domestic violence against women. While this is in itself a worthy cause the zealots can not only overlook the information available but also lose track of the objective.

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