The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide

With special guest:

• Megan Hunter
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Megan Hunter is the co-author with Andrea Larochelle of the book The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide with the sub-title Reclaim Your Life One Week at a Time.

Perhaps this book would not be necessary if everyone followed the recommendations contained in Megan’s earlier book Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to “The One” Who Will Make Your Life Hell. However as Megan writes in Week 1 you cannot unconsciously or consciously rewrite history in an attempt to save yourself (and your kids) from the present circumstance. It is what it is.

If you have to deal with a high-conflict co-parent then best to find out what Megan has to say based on her expertise in this area and many years of experience. When a marriage breaks up it is not just the Courts that the parent has to worry about. All of a sudden you cannot have an expectation of seeing your children if the other parent becomes high conflict. You may not even be sure of having a roof over your head. Bad things come in threes so you might also find yourself looking for a job at the same time as Child Support start making unreasonable claims because they deem you are choosing not to be looking after your children. You might for the first time suspect that what the high conflict co-parent is saying about your sanity is right.

Yet your aim may be as simple as wanting to feel the way you did before the breakup. This is when Megan’s advice to reclaim your life comes into play. This book is a roadmap. One day at a time you get to build on a secure foundation for your very different future life.

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Parents Acting Badly

With special guest:

• Dr Jennifer Harman
  … in conversation with Bill Kable
  

Why is it that we never see young animals rejecting a caring parent in the way we see some children acting? The behaviour of the other parent may be the cause and this strange behaviour may be due to Parental Alienation.

Our guest today is Associate Professor Jennifer Harman who tells us that the problem of Parental Alienation is all too common and getting worse around the world yet it is still decried by some as “junk science”.

Jennifer tells us that the scientific analysis of Parental Alienation is still at a beginning stage. The research is still focussing on the description of Parental Alienation because we have not yet reached the predictive stage. This is the normal scientific approach to research and can be compared with where we are up to with the topic du jour, domestic violence. However no-one denies the existence of domestic violence in the way they once did.

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Transgender

With special guest:

• “Sarah”
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Sometimes through no fault of our own the people closest to us will turn against us. People who do not even know us will take a position about who we are. Sarah, not her real name, was assigned male at birth but always knew something was not quite right. Finally after the trauma of a marriage breakdown Sarah decided to express her true self by confirming her gender.<

While she expected this to be a challenge, she was not expecting all of the problems she would then face from her family and the legal system. Join us today so by listening to Sarah we can all learn something about ourselves.

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The Equal Parent Presumption

With special guest:

• Dr Edward Kruk
  …in conversation with Bill Kable
  

Our guest today has produced a book of 167 pages, The Equal Parent Presumption: Social Justice in the Legal Determination of Parenting after Divorce, that should be required reading for everyone who works in the space of parenting after divorce; and that includes judges who routinely make sole parenting orders, psychologists who offer family therapy, and all the other institutions that influence family relationships.

The trouble really arises because although there is a mantra of acting “in the best interest of the child” this becomes a discretionary assessment by a judge who has no training in the area of child development or family dynamics and furthermore the Judge takes no interest in reviewing the outcome of the decision. Dr Kruk invites us to take the child’s position.

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Are Fathers Important for Adolescents?

With special guest:

• Dr William (Bill) Fabricius
  …in conversation with Bill Kable
  

Most studies in the area of children and families concentrate on the influence of mothers. Fathers are understudied in this area. For this reason we welcome the results of a paper on the role of fathers and we have the opportunity today to speak with one of its lead authors, Associate Professor Dr William Fabricius who joins us from New York. The title of the paper is Effects of the Inter-Parental Relationship on Adolescents’ Emotional Security and Adjustment: The Important Role of Fathers.

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Parents Acting Badly

With special guest:

• Dr Jennifer Harman
  … in conversation with Bill Kable
  

Why is it that we never see young animals rejecting a caring parent in the way we see some children acting? The behaviour of the other parent may be the cause and this strange behaviour may be due to Parental Alienation.

Our guest today is Associate Professor Jennifer Harman who tells us that the problem of Parental Alienation is all too common and getting worse around the world yet it is still decried by some as “junk science”.

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An Attachment-Based Model of Parental Alienation

With special guest:

• Dr Craig Childress
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Why is parental alienation such a controversial topic?

Nearly everyone knows someone who has had a child turned against them after separation of the parents. It happens unfortunately all over the world and looks remarkably similar wherever you find it. The construct was defined and given a label, “parental alienation” some thirty years ago by Dr Richard Gardner. More recently there has been a strong push to have it included as a separate diagnosis in the therapists’ “Bible” the DSM-5.

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Protecting Emilie

With special guest:

• Lisa Heim
  … in conversation with Bill Kable and Ken Thompson

A check in the index of topics will reveal that we have explored parental alienation from different angles by talking to academics, psychologists and researchers. Today we cross to Florida in the USA to hear a very real account of what this type of psychological child abuse looks like to those who are personally caught up in it.

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Dad: the Documentary

With special guest:

• Karen Hodgkins Varney
  …in conversation with Bill Kable and Ken Thompson
  

‘Dad’ is a documentary that Karen Hodgkins made for a higher purpose than looking for film industry awards. This film is a powerful and emotional appeal to the law makers and the law enforcers to do something for the Dads who are not travelling as well as frequently portrayed in our society.

In our interview today Karen tells us that she was asked by a Dad in May 2013 to do some research on the injustices in the Family Court and Child Support systems. This Dad was desperate to spend more time with his own children and suspected there was more going on than the general population is aware of.

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The Parental Alienation Syndrome

With special guest:

• Linda Gottlieb Kase
  … in conversation with Bill Kable
  

In today’s program we go to New York to find out the latest on the way Parental Alienation is treated by the Courts and by therapists internationally. While Parental Alienation Syndrome (or PAS) still appears to be a controversial topic in Australia there is no difficulty in recognising this evil for what it is in the USA.

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Splitting

With special guest:

• Bill Eddy
  … in conversation with Bill Kable and Ken Thompson

The word Splitting brings to mind a number of possibilities but in Bill Eddy’s book it is not the obvious meaning of breaking up with a partner. Here we are looking at “splitting” meaning a defence mechanism universally seen in people with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders. It means unconsciously seeing people as all good or all bad and is especially prevalent when there is stress such as in a break-up with someone the person afflicted sees as critical to emotional survival.

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Out on a Limb

With special guest:

• Simon Turner
  … in conversation with Bill Kable
  

Simon Turner’s book Out on a Limb is refreshingly plain speaking. To read the book is like sitting down with a mate who has some important, perhaps life-changing, information to share. Using language we can all relate to, Simon takes us through the jungle that confronts a father at the gates of a Family Law dispute with the mother of their children.

Simon discusses what he describes as the three golden rules that were passed on to him informally by a Family Court Judge in an Art Gallery rather than a court room. Based on these golden rules Simon gives some invaluable ideas about how a dad can give himself the best chance of continuing to parent his child after a separation or divorce.

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Man Raises Boy

With special guest:

• Rob Sturrock
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

What? The title of Rob Sturrock’s new book can still surprise even in the twenty-first century. Somehow the idea of fathers taking on the primary role of raising children sits a little uncomfortably.

Rob is calling for no less than a revolutionary approach if we are going to transition to a world where boys are free to be whatever they want to be, including being a stay-at-home Dad if they want. Many young women in our society have for some time enjoyed the freedom of choice when it comes to being a mother in the home or a career woman. Yet when women set out to be high flyers in the business world there are some things we do not hear. Women are usually praised for saying they want a good well-paying job and that they are prepared to work hard. But do they ever say this is so that they can support a family? The community still sees men as the main bread winner and so the sentiment is common if not universal among young men.

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The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide

With special guest:

• Megan Hunter
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Megan Hunter is the co-author with Andrea Larochelle of a new book The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide with the sub-title Reclaim Your Life One Week at a Time.

Perhaps this book would not be necessary if everyone followed the recommendations contained in Megan’s earlier book Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to “The One” Who Will Make Your Life Hell. However as Megan writes in Week 1 you cannot unconsciously or consciously rewrite history in an attempt to save yourself (and your kids) from the present circumstance. It is what it is.

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Daddy Cool

With special guest:

• Darleen Bungey
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

A real feature of the show today is when we go back to 1957 to hear the golden voice of Lawrie Brooks.

Lawrie was born in the United States where he had been named Robert Cutter. But Robert became the most popular singer in Australia under another name, Lawrie Brooks. How he came to wear the new name is a story in itself and just part of the fascinating history told in Darleen Bungey’s book about her father called Daddy Cool: Finding my father, the singer who swapped Hollywood fame for home in Australia.

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Transgender

With special guest:

• “Sarah”
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Sometimes through no fault of our own the people closest to us will turn against us. People who do not even know us will take a position about who we are. Sarah, not her real name, was assigned male at birth but always knew something was not quite right. Finally after the trauma of a marriage breakdown Sarah decided to express her true self by confirming her gender.

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Fathers and Daughters

With special guest:

• Madonna King
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

The word “daughter” with its silent letters points to something going on beneath the surface. To find out exactly what is going on between daughters and their Dads calls for a type of explorer who is prepared to investigate widely and give a voice to their thoughts and feelings.

Our guest today is Madonna King one of Australia’s most accomplished journalists. In her new book, Fathers and Daughters: Helping girls and their dads build unbreakable bonds Madonna with her typical thoroughness has interviewed no fewer than 1300 girls and 400 Dads along with a host of school principals, psychologists, researchers and even neuroscientists to give us some answers.

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From Little Things Big Things Grow

With special guest:

• John Stapleton
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

John Stapleton is a legend at Dads on the Air. In the year 2000 while working as a journalist he became involved with a number of fathers who struggled to see their own children because of the machinations of the Family Court. Worse still, because of the legislation no-one in the broader community knew what was going on. So John resolved to shed some light on the problem through a community radio program run on a shoestring from 2GLF in Liverpool New South Wales after giving the program its name. Here we are 18 years later still going strong.

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Man Raises Boy

With special guest:

• Rob Sturrock
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

What? The title of Rob Sturrock’s new book can still surprise even in the twenty-first century. Somehow the idea of fathers taking on the primary role of raising children sits a little uncomfortably.

Rob is calling for no less than a revolutionary approach if we are going to transition to a world where boys are free to be whatever they want to be, including being a stay-at-home Dad if they want. Many young women in our society have for some time enjoyed the freedom of choice when it comes to being a mother in the home or a career woman. Yet when women set out to be high flyers in the business world there are some things we do not hear. Women are usually praised for saying they want a good well-paying job and that they are prepared to work hard. But do they ever say this is so that they can support a family? The community still sees men as the main bread winner and so the sentiment is common if not universal among young men.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...

The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide

With special guest:

• Megan Hunter
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Megan Hunter is the co-author with Andrea Larochelle of a new book The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide with the sub-title Reclaim Your Life One Week at a Time.

Perhaps this book would not be necessary if everyone followed the recommendations contained in Megan’s earlier book Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to “The One” Who Will Make Your Life Hell. However as Megan writes in Week 1 you cannot unconsciously or consciously rewrite history in an attempt to save yourself (and your kids) from the present circumstance. It is what it is.

Listen Now (mp3)

Click to read more ...