Man Raises Boy
With special guest:
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Rob Sturrock
… in conversation with Bill Kable
What? The title of Rob Sturrock’s new book can still surprise even in the twenty-first century. Somehow the idea of fathers taking on the primary role of raising children sits a little uncomfortably.
Rob is calling for no less than a revolutionary approach if we are going to transition to a world where boys are free to be whatever they want to be, including being a stay-at-home Dad if they want. Many young women in our society have for some time enjoyed the freedom of choice when it comes to being a mother in the home or a career woman. Yet when women set out to be high flyers in the business world there are some things we do not hear. Women are usually praised for saying they want a good well-paying job and that they are prepared to work hard. But do they ever say this is so that they can support a family? The community still sees men as the main bread winner and so the sentiment is common if not universal among young men.
And the guidance for young men has not really changed when compared with the advances made by women. Rob questions whether we are presently just reaffirming the same old notions of manhood based on a narrow set of character traits and career choices. If boys are to be set free then Rob sees there is one player required who has been missing on other duty, namely Dad.
This is not a criticism of our fathers and grandfathers who in the 20th Century had to get their families through world wars and the Great Depression. Rob quotes the well-known Adam Liaw who believes the contributions of fathers and grandfathers in putting financial security first have been undervalued. The reality was that fathers were best placed to provide the financial support and they were prepared to miss out on family life if it meant the family stayed together and lived comfortably. But Rob sees the future optimistically as a place where both parents can share the paid and unpaid work.
This is where Man Raises Boy arrives on the scene. Rob is candid about his personal history where he did not see his hard-working father as much as he would have liked. He had no idea of what it meant to be a man and there was little in the way of published material to provide the answers he was looking for. Rob even admits that when he found out he was going to be a father for a second time he was hoping for a girl. But when Rob’s son was born it quickly became a life and death situation with young Luke in serious trouble with his health. Fortunately Luke got through that but the effect on Rob was life changing because he was now in charge of raising a young man.
Rob has consulted the experts, people we have spoken to on Dads on the Air such as Steve Biddulph and Maggie Dent. He also has the first-hand experience and he is an eloquent spokesperson.
Rob’s book is insightful and provides a guiding hand in the maze of love, guilt, anxiety and joy in fatherhood – and an ordinary Dad’s beautifully moving love letter to his son. Find out all about Rob’s approach to raising kind, confident and happy sons. It is what the world needs now and we would say VIVE LA REVOLUTION!
Rob Sturrock
Rob Sturrock studied Law in Australia and England. Rob also practised in that field but his greatest gain from that period of his life was that he met Julia when they were both students. Now Rob is married to Julia and he has become a working father in another field as an author. He has written widely about his experiences of being a working dad and juggling the responsibilities of home and work. Rob has been published online in Women’s Agenda, Mamamia and Circle In, as well as in the Sydney Morning Herald, The Age and the Huffington Post. Rob also appears on the ABC and Channel 9 to talk about his views on fatherhood and is considered a leading father’s voice in parenting debates.
Song selection by our guest: Careless Whisper by George Michael