Dad Stories
Tuesday, March 4, 2008 at 10:30AM 
With special guests:
- Doug Doran and
- Ann Bressington MLC.
Before talking with Doug Doran, editor of an excellent new book Dad Stories, first up we take a look at the new South Australian rape laws, which while purporting to protect women, may well do many of them great harm by falsely demonising their sons, their brothers and their lovers.
If a woman goes home with a man and sleeps in his bed, this Bill will assume he has raped her if at the time of intercourse:
She was “intoxicated” or “asleep” She is not satisfied that he was entirely honest about his identity She withdraws her consent for any reason and at any time but does not state so There was any miscommunication about his or her intentions.
A man may spend a life in jail as as consequence of a one night stand if the woman changes her mind afterwards, even if she doesn’t tell him so.
This desctructive insanity amply demonstrates the fevered ideological madness which has overtaken our legislators in family law, child support, domestic violence and now in rape laws. No one condones rape. But no government and no citizens should condone this outlandish abuse of their own citizenry, purely based on their gender. Rightly or wrongly, it is impossible to imagine a woman being jailed for life if she took advantage of a drunken man - and how often does that happen!! More from Anne Bressington below.
On a happier note, much of our show will be taken up with a discussion of Doug Doran’s sterling new book Dad Stories.
His publicity blurb puts it like this:
What happens when you ask twenty of your mates to tell you a story about their dad? You get Dad Stories.
After a conversation with his two children out on the back pergola one summer evening, sharing anecdotes about their Pa, Stan, Doug Doran thought of conversations he’d had with many of his mates about their dads.
‘I’d had similar discussions with a lot of my mates about their dads; the up sides, the down sides and everything in between.’
Doug shared his vision for a published collection of stories about dads with writer, John Holton, who found the idea irresistible.
Dad Stories covers vast emotional territory. While these stories remember many of the good times, they never shy away from the sad or the tragic. Ultimately, they reveal that our fathers are much like us; sharing the same passions, hopes, fears, strengths, joys and disappointments qualities that can pass from father to son across generations.
Doug hopes that reading Dad Stories will prompt others to reflect on the lives of their fathers.
Dad Stories is a totally self-funded, non-profit venture. All proceeds will be distributed throughout the Central Victorian community to support men’s health.
Editors: Doug Doran & John Holton Publisher: Dokter Press
Softcover, 234 x 153mm, 90pp, ISBN: 978 0 646 47295 9.
To order, contact Doug on 0409 213 320 or email him.
Excerpt from Dad Stories
One of my first memories of Pete was when I was about three or four, learning to get dressed on my own. I came into Mum and Dad’s bedroom and Pete said, ‘I’ll give you a race to get dressed.’ So I raced to my room and put on my clothes as quickly as I could. I thought I’d done a really good job. When I got back to his room he was still in bed. I thought, yes, I’ve beaten him, but then he pulled back the bedspread and he was already dressed.
Then there was the time on my birthday when he gave me a set of drums. He’d wrapped the drum sticks in layers and layers of paper. It took me about half an hour per stick to unwrap them before he finally gave me the rest of the drum set. He did have a good sense of humour.
There was one time, though, when I really tested his sense of humour. Pete had been out to get a load of wood; a really big truckload. He asked me to help him unload it. They were all in foot-long blocks and we threw them from the back of the truck over the fence. Every time Pete ducked down to pick one up, I’d throw one over the top of his head. But we got out of sequence and he must have come up too quickly. I hit him with this bloody big lump of wood laid him out cold. I shit myself, jumped off the truck, and took off in fright. By the time I got home he’d come to and settled down.
Pete died at sixty-two too young, really. We’d become good mates. We could be open with each other. If I had a problem, I spoke to him about it. He’d respond more as a mate than a father. But when the father part had to come out, it would really come out! He always gave me good guidance.
It was a bit tough, initially, after Pete died. On the Tuesday before, we concreted the gazebo at my house. Pete, being Pete, had to get the biggest barrow and cart the concrete from the front of the house down to the back. He was pretty fit. We worked our arses off doing that. At the end of the day he said he was stuffed, so we sat down and had a couple of beers before he went home. The next day he went up to the local cemetery and mowed the lawns. He was the groundsperson up there a job he took on after he retired.
I continued digging the trenches for the aggie pipe around the gazebo. I rang Pete up and told him what I was doing. He thought the trenches weren’t wide or deep enough, so he was going to come over on the Saturday afternoon to give me a hand to re-do them. He died on the Saturday morning.
I blamed myself for letting him work too hard on the Tuesday and putting too much strain on his heart. Looking back, it was just his time. It took me four years to accept his death that it wasn’t my fault. He’s been gone for thirteen years. It’s hard to believe. When I think about him now, I think of the mate I lost. I miss him a lot.
From: The Mate I Lost by Terry Chisholm
The courages and outspoken Ann Bressington from the SA Parliament, one of the few politicians in this country with the courage and decency to speak out on behalf of men, no matter that their cause is presently unfashionable or even politically incorrect. Justice is justice.
Her release said:
Government attempts to further protect women from rape and sexual assault through the Criminal Law Consolidation (Rape and Sexual Offences) Amendment Bill 2007 go too far, Independent MLC Ann Bressington said today.
“This Bill is really dangerous as it literally seeks to get into our bedrooms to such an extent as to make it dangerous to engage in sexual intercourse, lest it could be perceived to be rape or sexual assault,” Ms Bressington said.
“This Bill very specifically targets men. It is not about protecting children, disabled or vulnerable people.
“Under this Bill, these offences would carry life imprisonment terms, whilst the same offence against a minor only carries 10 years. Women should feel safe about the relationships they enter into, but this Bill goes way too far, even legislating the conversations we must now have in our own bedrooms, for fear someone might cry “rape”.
Ms Bressington said the Bill takes considerable responsibility away from women, so that every woman who has regretted a decision to enter a sexual relationship is a victim of possible rape or other sexual offence.
“I do hope the Premier has topped up the coffers of the Victims of Crime Compensation Fund and is making more room in our prisons, because the bar has now been set so low, anyone could be a potential victim or perpetrator of a sexual offence as soon as they regret a decision to engage in a sexual relationship,” Ms Bressington said.
If a woman goes home with a man and sleeps in his bed, this Bill will assume he has raped her if at the time of intercourse:
She was “intoxicated” or “asleep” She is not satisfied that he was entirely honest about his identity She withdraws her consent for any reason and at any time but does not state so There was any miscommunication about his or her intentions.
Ms Bressington said it was outrageous withdrawal of consent does not have to be clearly stated or otherwise expressed, with a male having to guess as to the possibility’ that she might not be consenting, or has withdrawn consent’.
“Worse still, throughout intercourse, he now has to give serious consideration as to her wishes as it becomes an offence under s47(c) if he does not give any thought’ to those multiple and endless variables that may occur within the relationship and transpire in the bedroom. If he proceeds with uncertainty or doubt, heaven help him” Ms Bressington said.
“The man, on the other hand, will be given no defence; for example, if she fails to disclose she has taken a Valium or a glass of wine beforehand, she will be able to later claim to have been unable to make an informed decision - sufficient for him to be charged.”