Our Boys: Raising strong, happy sons from boyhood to manhood

With special guests:

• Richard Aston & Ruth Kerr

On this program we get to talk to good people who are making a difference in our society. Our guests today, Richard Aston and his wife Ruth Kerr, fit this category and they speak to us from across the ditch in New Zealand.

For fifeen years Richard and Ruth through the Big Buddy program have been providing fatherless boys with a buddy, someone who can show them the way to manhood. These buddies are volunteer mentors who are carefully chosen by going through a detailed screening. The boys know they can rely on their buddies to turn up when expected and listen to what is happening in the boys’ lives. And they get to do fun things.

Having seen up close and personal what makes boys tick Richard and Ruth have distilled for us what works and what does not work when the aim is to develop our boys into adults. This is practical and down to earth advice set out in their new book Our Boys: Raising strong, happy sons from boyhood to manhood.

The book is divided into different stages as boys make this transition, so we hear about the most important considerations for boys under 4 years of age, then from 4 to 7, 8 to 11, 12 to 17 and then beyond 18. Richard and Ruth argue strongly for the role of men in the life of children even at very early ages and from then on manhood is “caught not taught”. Sometimes we are not even aware of how important a little lift of the eyebrows or a wink can be to a developing boy not sure of approval for himself and his actions.

And some good news for men, it is not a requirement that you are perfect in order to have that good effect on the growing boy. More important is that you are authentic, flaws and all.

At a time when it is arguable that there is a boy crisis, boys are falling behind at school, the suicide rate is appalling, this book with all its practical advice is an essential for our society.

Yet Ruth and Richard do not forget the words of Celia Lashlie to whom the book is dedicated and a previous guest on Dads on the Air; Boys are more than the sum of the “problems” we label them with: they are gorgeous - creative, fun, adventurous and capable of great depth.

In this program there are lots of great ideas for anyone spending time with a boy growing up and every one of them is road tested. Don’t miss it.

Richard Aston

Richard Aston is the Founding Trustee & former Chief Executive of Big Buddy. He is also father of four grown children and grandfather three times. He has been married to Ruth for over 30 years. He is chairman of Consumer NZ and an independent marriage celebrant.

Ruth Kerr

Having worked voluntarily as Media Coordinator at Big Buddy for seven years, Ruth Kerr was contracted since 2010. A journalist for over 30 years, Ruth loves spending time with Richard, her four grown children, three grandchildren and wider whanau.

Song selections by our guests: My Father’s Eyes by Eric Clapton & Kooks by David Bowie

Note: This program is an encore presentation of the one aired on 21 July 2016.

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