National Emergency – Suicide Rates for Our Men

With special guest:

• Anthony Smith
  … in conversation with Bill Kable and Ken Thompson

1901 male deaths by suicide were recorded in 2012 along with another 634 females meaning a total of 2,535 Australians lost their lives in this way. There has been no significant improvement in the period since these figures became available.

Our guest today, Anthony Smith, argues that these figures are conservative and the belief of the people working in this area is that the figure for men should be some 500 higher. Reasons for this conservatism include the shortfall in the number of Coronial enquiries and the general reluctance of Coroners to brand a sudden death as suicide because this only makes it harder for the surviving family members to deal with the tragedy.

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The Making of Men

With special guest:

• Dr Arne Rubinstein
  …in conversation with Bill Kable, Ken Thompson, and Glen Poole
  

“If we don’t initiate our boys they will burn down the village to feel the heat.” This is an African proverb quoted by our guest today Dr Arne Rubinstein that could describe the situation for young men today in Australia and other societies far from Africa.

The Making of Men is a book that Dr Arne Rubinstein has written after seeing first-hand in his medical practice the disasters that can befall boys who are not initiated into life as a man in the community. Arne recognises the qualities valued in young boys when they are naturally loving, energetic, funny, creative and sensitive. What happens then, when so many kids get into trouble as teenagers?

In this program we talk about one of the most important ways in which the community or village can play a role in bringing the boy through to being a valuable man in the community.

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Mentoring Men

With special guest:

• Simon Jarvis
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Who says men need help in today’s society?

Our guest today would answer by pointing to the shockingly high rate of male suicide with 7 out of 10 victims being male. Yet at a time like this it is hard to gain financial support for male issues because of the focus on other worthy causes. This is where Mentoring Men can make a difference and where Chief Executive Officer Simon Jarvis can build on the work by his predecessor and founder of the movement, Ian Westmoreland, a guest on Dads on the Air in November 2019.

Simon tells us that Mentoring Men is not a crisis centre. This is not for men who have gone over the edge in one way or another. The group aims to get in early with men who just need a non-judgemental ear, someone who may have experienced all this before and who might have a few tips to pass on.

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Life in Limbo

With special guest:

• Matt Barwick
  … in conversation with Bill Kable and Ken Thompson

In his book Life in Limbo Matt Barwick says that men in their desire to be alpha-male typically hide behind an impenetrable wall of machismo. So if anyone asks “How ya going?” the response is most likely going to be a stoic “Yeah everything’s fine.” No-one must see any sign of weakness or fragility, particularly male friends. The result is that most men avoid open and honest communication about physical or mental health.

This book changes that expectation in a big way. Matt writes openly, candidly and even dispenses some laid back humour along the way in describing his own extreme personal experiences.

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Daddy’s OK

With special guest:

• Dean Mason
  …in conversation with Bill Kable
  

In his book Daddy’s OK: Fathers’ stories of separation, divorce and rebuilding author Dean Mason takes us into the world of 14 families that have been through the trauma of separation and divorce. The 2006 Census showed that 50% of children in single parent families never have an overnight stay with the other parent, normally the Dad. But if our eyes glass over when contemplating the tens of thousands of Dads in this situation Dean brings it back to the individual personal level with these real life stories from his days as National Chairman of Parents Beyond Breakup (formerly Dads in Distress Support Services).

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The Other Glass Ceiling

With special guest

• Charles Areni
  …in conversation with Bill Kable
  

In the news lately there have been frequent references to pay differentials between males and females. This is often put down to the different opportunities available in the workplace because of gender roles that are a hangover from a less-enlightened past. But what about the denial of opportunities to look after the children and get involved in other areas around the home? In brief, Mums have too many roles, Dads have too few.

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Jeremiah House 2018

With special guests:

• Peter Symes & Robert Stoker
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Jeremiah Chapter 20 Verse 18. For those of us not familiar with that extract from the Bible it is relevant to today’s show as our guest Peter Symes points out. Jeremiah House 2018 is not a religious institution but it is doing work that many Christians would like to claim as being core to their life principles.

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Life and Death Planning for Country Properties

With special guest:

• Owen Catto
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Our guest today is Owen Catto from The Regional Men’s Health Initiative of Western Australia.

Owen’s life as a farmer began when he worked on the family farm for 18 years with a small interest in that farming business given to him by his father. To back up this direct experience of conditions on the farm Owen also has a Bachelor of Business in Agriculture and has operated a farm consultancy business. When talking about life on the land we might say that Owen knows his onions.

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Dads Group Inc

With special guest:

• Tom Docking
  … in conversation with Glen Poole

Most Dads can remember vividly the time they were told that they were going to be a father for the first time. There may be a sense of starting on a journey, that life as it has been up until that point has changed forever or even that this is a type of eternity because part of you goes on long after your passing.

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Ballet Brothers

With special guest:

• Jake Burden
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Jake Burden tells us that everyone can dance. For those with a particular ability and the drive to do all the hard training that goes with being a dancer on the stage Jake tells us there are all sorts of rewards.

On the flip side of these benefits there remains an element in our society that thinks dancing is somehow unmanly, that only young girls should express themselves in this way and because male dancers are seen as different they can be subjected to bullying. This is where Jake Burden steps in to provide a safe haven as the creator of Ballet Brothers, based in Newcastle New South Wales.

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Mentoring Men

With special guest:

• Ian Westmoreland
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Mentoring Men like a lot of great things in life started simply, one man and an idea.

Ian Westmoreland decided that what Australian men needed big time was an opportunity to learn from the wisdom and mistakes of other men. But he discovered that the number of such services offered free to adult Australian men was zip, zero, zilch. This is when he had the idea of setting up Mentoring Men. If this meant working full time 7 days a week for no pay then so be it.

There would be very few men who do not at some time experience periods of anxiety, feeling down, relationship issues and low self-esteem. For some men these negative emotions are occasional and for others they may occur more frequently. When it happens, men need someone who will listen to them without judgement.

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Guy Tai Shanghai

With special guest:

• Eric Johnson
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

The number of American men who have completely left the workforce to raise children has more than doubled over the past decade according to a New York Times report on census data. And many others serve as primary caretakers for their families while maintaining freelance or part-time jobs.

This situation is reflected in cosmopolitan cities around the world where expat wives are taking up new jobs and bringing with them their families. In previous times it was usually the men who arrived in foreign cities to start work and their wives were labelled Tai Tais or trailing wives. These Tai Tais were unlikely to find work because of visa restrictions and language barriers so they dedicated themselves to running the home, perhaps with some domestic help.

More recently it is the husbands arriving with their working wives who find themselves in this situation and in Shanghai they decided to get together and call themselves Guy Tais. This led to the formation of an association, Guy Tai Shanghai.

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Men’s Health Week

With special guest:

• Glen Poole
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

In 2019 there will be presentations of men’s health awards in every state and territory of Australia. We would make the first award to our guest today Glen Poole who has been such a force of nature on men’s and boys’ issues since he moved to Australia permanently in 2015.

Glen sees the purpose of Men’s Health Week as a way to provoke thought and discussion about what needs to be done to improve the lives and the health of Australian men and boys. Over the week 10-16 June there will be presentations in seven cities around the country. As well as awards there will be report cards on how men and boys are travelling healthwise.

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Dadvice

With special guest:

• Dr Luke Martin

Seriously! Becoming a Dad can be a white-knuckle ride and sometimes it can be overwhelming. When you leave the hospital carrying a new baby it might be the first time it hits you that you have taken on an enormous responsibility and yet you are not issued with an instruction booklet.

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Jeremiah House 2018

With special guests:

• Peter Symes & Robert Stoker
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Jeremiah Chapter 20 Verse 18. For those of us not familiar with that extract from the Bible it is relevant to today’s show as our guest Peter Symes points out. Jeremiah House 2018 is not a religious institution but it is doing work that many Christians would like to claim as being core to their life principles.

Peter and Robert realised that there were no shelters in Bundaberg that catered for men and their children when a crisis in the home occurred. Surprisingly there are none in Australia as a whole. If a man arrived at a shelter having been forced out of home what would happen is that the family would be split. The children would be sent to one institution and if a shelter were available the man would be sent there on his own. Just when the father and his family most needed to support each other they would be forcibly separated.

Peter has a background as a registered nurse and a wide variety of experience in the workforce. Robert also is widely experienced with a personal history of family breakup. Their admirable response to the lack of any shelters for men in this situation was to begin a project so that there will be somewhere for men and their families to go.

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Top Blokes Foundation

With special guest:

• Melissa Abu-Gazaleh

We cannot avoid the bad news stories about young men. The figures show that 82.6% of articles in the press about young men are negative.

In today’s program we speak with Melissa Abu-Gazaleh, the founder and Managing Director of the Top Blokes Foundation, who counters that negative stereotype by encouraging the young men to become “top blokes”. Melissa argues that young men can be a force for good; they are a resource that is largely untapped.

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Beer + Bubs

With special guest:

• Carrina Hampton
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Our guest today is Carrina Hampton who has many qualifications that include being a qualified social worker, a family therapist, a clinical hypnotherapist and a doula.

All of this expertise is put to good use when Carrina takes her Beer + Bubs program to the pub in locations right across Australia. Beer + Bubs is a one-night session at the pub where expectant dads learn how to best support their partner up to and following the birth of their child. The combination of the location, the one or two glasses of amber fluid and being surrounded by other men in similar circumstances has proven to be a winner for the program.

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Dads in Distress

With special guest:

• Pete Nicholls
  … in conversation with Glen Poole

2019 marks twenty years of Dads in Distress (DIDs) activities.

This is a fabulous achievement which deserves widespread recognition in our community. From an idea conceived on a veranda in Coffs Harbour by Founder Tony Miller it is fair to say that thousands of men who felt they were in hopeless situations have been helped.

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Dads Group Inc

With special guest:

• Tom Docking
  … in conversation with Glen Poole

Most Dads can remember vividly the time they were told that they were going to be a father for the first time. There may be a sense of starting on a journey, that life as it has been up until that point has changed forever or even that this is a type of eternity because part of you goes on long after your passing.

Our guest today, Tom Docking from Dad’s Group Inc, was overwhelmed by a different feeling. He felt he could not cope with this new responsibility and had to spend some time alone. When he realised that he needed some support there was an unpleasant discovery, no help was available.

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Ballet Brothers

With special guest:

• Jake Burden
  … in conversation with Bill Kable

Jake Burden tells us that everyone can dance. For those with a particular ability and the drive to do all the hard training that goes with being a dancer on the stage Jake tells us there are all sorts of rewards.

On the flip side of these benefits there remains an element in our society that thinks dancing is somehow unmanly, that only young girls should express themselves in this way and because male dancers are seen as different they can be subjected to bullying. This is where Jake Burden steps in to provide a safe haven as the creator of Ballet Brothers, based in Newcastle New South Wales.

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