The Equal Parent Presumption

With special guest:

• Dr Edward Kruk
   … in conversation with Bill Kable

Our guest today has produced a book of 167 pages, The Equal Parent Presumption: Social Justice in the Legal Determination of Parenting after Divorce, that should be required reading for everyone who works in the space of parenting after divorce; and that includes Judges who routinely make sole parenting orders, Psychologists who offer family therapy, and all the other institutions that influence family relationships.

The trouble really arises because although there is a mantra of acting “in the best interest of the child” this becomes a discretionary assessment by a Judge who has no training in the area of child development or family dynamics and furthermore the Judge takes no interest in reviewing the outcome of the decision. Dr Kruk invites us to take the child’s position.

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Leading Women for Shared Parenting

With special guest:

• Molly Olson

Why would leading women want to join a group that is striving to achieve the sharing of time that children spend with both parents after separation or divorce? If the approach of the Courts and the legislature has always been that the mothers are essential, fathers not so, why would these women work tirelessly to make changes?

Molly Olson is one of the fair-minded women found around the world who can see the benefits to the children as well as to the parents if the allocated time is shared. After listening to Molly it becomes a no-brainer that in her words the system has to change and it will change.

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Understanding Parental Alienation

With special guests:

• Karen & Nick Woodall

Everyone seems to know someone who has been affected by parental alienation, even if the name of the condition may not be recognised. We have all seen children, following a separation, who reject a parent and cling to the other parent when there is no good reason for doing so.

We would expect therapists working in this area to be on the lookout for the tell-tale signs that a child is fully alienated. However because of a galling lack of understanding of the condition this is not always so. Even the early signs may be missed such as when a child who is usually happy to come to your house or come with you on trips begins to find it difficult to do so.

Once the alienation has taken root it is obvious to any thinking person that there is something wrong because the child’s reality has been distorted. At that point the worst aspect of a separation with another parent may take place, namely, you lose your child.

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Parents Beyond Breakup

With special guest:

• Pete Nicholls

Who are Parents Beyond Breakup?

If you have not heard already about Parents Beyond Breakup it is very likely that you will soon because the word is getting out from our guest today Pete Nicholls who has been instrumental in raising awareness in the community. Parents Beyond Breakup is a national charity working in many communities around Australia focussing on suicide prevention in one of the demographics most at risk, namely separating parents.

Parents Beyond Breakup is the parent body for the well-known Dads in Distress who have been guests on the program many times previously and provided presenter Phil York for several years. But as our guest today Pete Nicholls explains a demand has grown for helping mothers in times of crisis and so Parents Beyond Breakup now incorporates both Dads in Distress and Mums in Distress as part of its operations.

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SHTUM

With special guest:

• Jem Lester

In this program we cross to London to discuss with author Jem Lester his novel SHTUM. For anyone who has missed the British television shows and is not sure what “shtum” means Jem tells us that it means “silent or uncommunicative”. That is what a loving father may face when he has a child with profound autism.

The book SHTUM won the 2013 PFD/City University Prize for Fiction but in writing the book Jem tells us he draws on his own experiences having raised a boy now nearly 16 who is profoundly autistic.

This is one of those books you do not want to put down. One of the characters refers to the power of words and yet the most eloquent communication between a father and a son is a non-verbal moment where the connection is “hilarious, fleeting and precious.”

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Protecting Emilie

With special guest:

• Lisa Heim

A check in the index of topics will reveal that we have explored parental alienation from different angles by talking to academics, psychologists and researchers. Today we cross to Florida in the USA to hear a very real account of what this type of psychological child abuse looks like to those who are personally caught up in it.

Lisa Heim is the author of Protecting Emilie and in this book she tells the story of what happens to people catapulted into this nightmare world of parental alienation, something that could happen to you, your neighbour or parents on the other side of the world. Lisa gives an account of her relationship with her husband, his daughter Emilie, in the title of the book, and her own daughter, as it was affected by the conflict instigated by Emilie’s mother.

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Children in Crisis

With special guest:

• Dr David Curl

Our distinguished guest in today’s program is very familiar with threatened species in the animal kingdom, having worked with luminaries such as the late Gerald Durrell OBE and Sir David Attenborough. He is now directing his considerable energy and ability to helping our own species in a crisis that is of our own making.

For a child, few crises are bigger than the loss of a loving parent. We often hear about those who had to grow up after the early death of a parent and those who never got over it. Fortunately, this does not happen to many of us. But a parent can be taken away by the Family Court just as effectively. If not handled properly, the separation of the child’ parents from each other can lead to immense personal suffering for their children and increased lifetime risks of physical and mental illness, even suicide. For this to happen to even one child is a catastrophe, but the reality is that tens of thousands of children, in Australia alone, are being forced to experience this trauma, compounded by the loss of other family members, as a direct result of the action or inaction of Australia’s adversarial family court system.

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Separate Well or Separation Hell

With special guest:

• Peter Nowosielski

If we are planning on buying a house, a car or even a pair of shoes most of us will engage in some research before embarking down that road. Therefore it is passingly strange that when we arrive at a place where decisions are going to have a major impact on our lives and those we love the most our research is often limited to asking a few friends what they think. If professional advice is sought it is usually from the lawyers who in our adversarial system have most to gain from promoting conflict so that it finishes up in court.

Our guest today is a founder of Separate Well consultancy services providing expert independent advice on how to do the best for your family if separation from your partner is the only option. And in his book Separate Well or Separation Hell Peter draws on over ten years’ experience to dispel myths associated with separation and divorce. Peter provides practical advice in down to earth language. You will not find any lawyers’ jargon here.

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Flesh Wounds

With special guest:

• Richard Glover

Our guest today is famous.

Richard Glover is the host of the top rating Drive show on 702 ABC Sydney, and the weekly podcast of Thank God It’s Friday. He is the author of twelve books including the bestseller In Bed with Jocasta. His new book Flesh Wounds is in a similar humorous vein but the big difference this time is that it is the real story of his unusual, to say the least, upbringing.

We got Richard on the other side of the microphone from his usual radio role to explore with us his journey from being one of the first artificially inseminated babies in Australia. This was followed by a childhood in Papua-New Guinea and then on to maintaining a relationship with a mother who lived in a fantasy world and a father who let the real world get on top of him.

The book is described by one reviewer as “sad, funny, revealing, optimistic and hopeful”. This is a clear indication that we can all relate to at least some of Richard’s story, perhaps to our surprise.

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The Equal Parent Presumption

With special guest:

• Dr Edward Kruk

Our guest today has produced a book of 167 pages, The Equal Parent Presumption: Social Justice in the Legal Determination of Parenting after Divorce, that should be required reading for everyone who works in the space of parenting after divorce; and that includes Judges who routinely make sole parenting orders, Psychologists who offer family therapy, and all the other institutions that influence family relationships.

The trouble really arises because although there is a mantra of acting “in the best interest of the child” this becomes a discretionary assessment by a Judge who has no training in the area of child development or family dynamics and furthermore the Judge takes no interest in reviewing the outcome of the decision. Dr Kruk invites us to take the child’s position.

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Parental Alienation: Intervene or Not?

With special guest:

• Dr Mandy Matthewson

Dr Matthewson is both a University academic and a Clinical Psychologist. She has a particular interest in how father-child relationships influence children’s development as well as the impact of parental alienation.

In this program we are given a preview of what to expect from the results of studies that are currently underway at the University of Tasmania.

We ask Dr Matthewson if the parents who are targeted by parental alienation have any common characteristics, thinking it might make us more cautious before becoming a parent or even to warn others. Is it the nice guys who are most at risk?

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Fathers and Daughters – What are the issues?

With special guest:

• Prof Linda Nielsen

Our guest, Professor Linda Nielsen speaks to us today from North Carolina in the United States about a topic that nearly everyone has a stake in but on which there is very little guidance. How important is the relationship between a daughter and her father? This topic has been explored by Dr Nielsen in her latest book Father-Daughter Relationships: Contemporary Research & Issues.

Many studies have been directed at the importance of a mother’s relationships with her children. But a father may need some reassurance about the value of his relationship with his daughter particularly if he feels more comfortable with his son. The first thing we get to check with Dr Nielsen is what is it that fathers do for their daughters? Are they really needed?

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Hunter Valley Men’s Crisis Support

With special guest:

• Philip Penfold

Charity starts at home.

Philip Penfold, our guest today, was born and raised in Maitland NSW. When he spent 18 months in the USA he witnessed first-hand how community minded the Americans were and it inspired him to do something for his own hometown.

Philip did not have to look too far before he realised that homeless men in the Hunter region desperately needed someone to care. This led to the establishment in 2011 of Hunter Valley Men’s Crisis Support which provides assistance to homeless men in Maitland/Lower Hunter. This support group aims to give blokes a hand up when they are at their lowest point. They do this by providing practical, short-term assistance to men experiencing or at risk of homelessness or financial difficulty.

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SHTUM

With special guest:

• Jem Lester

In this program we cross to London to discuss with author Jem Lester his new novel SHTUM. For anyone who has missed the British television shows and is not sure what “shtum” means Jem tells us that it means “silent or uncommunicative”. That is what a loving father may face when he has a child with profound autism.

The book SHTUM won the 2013 PFD/City University Prize for Fiction but in writing the book Jem tells us he draws on his own experiences having raised a boy now nearly 16 who is profoundly autistic.

This is one of those books you do not want to put down. One of the characters refers to the power of words and yet the most eloquent communication between a father and a son is a non-verbal moment where the connection is “hilarious, fleeting and precious.”

Listen Now (MP3)

Click to read more ...

Leading Women for Shared Parenting

With special guest:

• Molly Olson

Why would leading women want to join a group that is striving to achieve the sharing of time that children spend with both parents after separation or divorce? If the approach of the Courts and the legislature has always been that the mothers are essential, fathers not so, why would these women work tirelessly to make changes?

Molly Olson is one of the fair-minded women found around the world who can see the benefits to the children as well as to the parents if the allocated time is shared. After listening to Molly it becomes a no-brainer that in her words the system has to change and it will change.

Listen Now (MP3)

Click to read more ...

Protecting Emilie

With special guest:

• Lisa Heim

A check in the index of topics will reveal that we have explored parental alienation from different angles by talking to academics, psychologists and researchers. Today we cross to Florida in the USA to hear a very real account of what this type of psychological child abuse looks like to those who are personally caught up in it.

Lisa Heim is the author of Protecting Emilie and in this book she tells the story of what happens to people catapulted into this nightmare world of parental alienation, something that could happen to you, your neighbour or parents on the other side of the world. Lisa gives an account of her relationship with her husband, his daughter Emilie, in the title of the book, and her own daughter, as it was affected by the conflict instigated by Emilie’s mother.

Listen Now (MP3)

Click to read more ...

Separate Well or Separation Hell

With special guest:

• Peter Nowosielski

If we are planning on buying a house, a car or even a pair of shoes most of us will engage in some research before embarking down that road. Therefore it is passingly strange that when we arrive at a place where decisions are going to have a major impact on our lives and those we love the most our research is often limited to asking a few friends what they think. If professional advice is sought it is usually from the lawyers who in our adversarial system have most to gain from promoting conflict so that it finishes up in court.

Our guest today is a founder of Separate Well consultancy services providing expert independent advice on how to do the best for your family if separation from your partner is the only option. And in his book Separate Well or Separation Hell Peter draws on over ten years’ experience to dispel myths associated with separation and divorce. Peter provides practical advice in down to earth language. You will not find any lawyers’ jargon here.

Listen Now (MP3)

Click to read more ...

Children in Crisis

With special guest:

• Dr David Curl

Our distinguished guest in today’s program is very familiar with threatened species in the animal kingdom, having worked with luminaries such as the late Gerald Durrell OBE and Sir David Attenborough. He is now directing his considerable energy and ability to helping our own species in a crisis that is of our own making.

Listen Now (MP3)

Click to read more ...

Out on a Limb: A Single Father’s Guide to his Family’s Lore of the Jungle

With special guest:

• Simon Turner

Simon Turner’s book Out on a Limb is refreshingly plain speaking. To read the book is like sitting down with a mate who has some important, perhaps life-changing, information to share. Using language we can all relate to, Simon takes us through the jungle that confronts a father at the gates of a Family Law dispute with the mother of their children.

Simon discusses what he describes as the three golden rules that were passed on to him informally by a Family Court Judge in an Art Gallery rather than a court room. Based on these golden rules Simon gives some invaluable ideas about how a dad can give himself the best chance of continuing to parent his child after a separation or divorce.

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Flesh Wounds

With special guest:

• Richard Glover

Our guest today is famous.

Richard Glover is the host of the top rating Drive show on 702 ABC Sydney, and the weekly podcast of Thank God It’s Friday. He is the author of twelve books including the bestseller In Bed with Jocasta. His new book Flesh Wounds is in a similar humorous vein but the big difference this time is that it is the real story of his unusual, to say the least, upbringing.

Listen Now (MP3)

Click to read more ...